Finally, the readers, all eight of you, you know who you are and we love you.

We love parmas, Palmer, palms and the SRC #Gen.Sec.Report.x264.mp4.S02W12

It’s the end of the road and all you’ve got is another OB report. That sucks for you. We’re not sure what you can do with an OB report at the end of the road. What you need is this map; the map to our hearts.
The year draws to a close and with these final weeks comes a serenity, a time to reflect on the year that has been. All of the elections are over, the ibides have reclaimed their rightful spots as the most infuriating thing
on Eastern Avenue.

SRC reports are an oft-ignored section of the paper, but the SRC is all about inclusivity so for those of you who haven’t read any reports this year, here’s what you could’ve learnt had you read all the reports:
300-500 words can be written in roughly 12 minutes

“The Palmer United Party is the newest venture from Clive Palmer,
a former Liberal Party remember and owner of mineralogy. Clive Palmer’s net worth is estimated at $895, with iron ore, nickel, and coal holdings.”

That these reports get posted online, unedited, for everyone to read, forever

That you can spruik the activities of the SRC in every single report and still have hundreds of students who do not know what it is
“From the recommendations of the Commission of Audit, we see findings right from the once widely ridiculed list of desired reforms from the stupidly far-right Institute of Public Affairs. From a Government that before the Commission already singled their intention to fundamentally change the programs that make Australian higher education sector
one the most accessible in the world.”

Punctuation is like glitter, use it whenever and wherever you want, or don’t use it at all

^^^ !!!!!!???? – ;; ;;

Lists use up more column space and thus make your report bigger and more learny

Lists are also easy because you can copy things from other places and it doesn’t seem as unfair as if you put them in paragraphs

But seriously, being the General Secretaries of an organisation as great as the SRC is an absolute privilege. We’ve enjoyed our time immensely and are proud of our achievements. We’ve negotiated with the University for SRC funding, organised the budget, attended rallies and supported activism on campus, helped get the first non-Labor president in 14 years elected, produced a handbook, met with and facilitated collectives as well as regular roles such as attending regular Executive meetings and staff interviews. We’d like to thank a few people, first, the rest of the Exec, VPs Max and Laura, Prez Jen, Georgia, Sonia, Nick, Chloe, and Commissar Pedram; approving staff leave en bloc wouldn’t have been the same without you. Second, the Honi editors: the enjoyment you must get each week, eagerly reading the reports (spoilers!) and laying them out, must be enthralling. All we’re sure of is that there is no better way to spend a Sunday.

Finally, the readers, all eight of you, you know who you are and we love you.


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