ASK ABE: Pregnant and don’t know what to do

Hello Abe,

My girlfriend is pregnant and I just don’t know what to do. If she wants to keep the baby I guess I’ll support her but I’ve only got 2 years to go in my course and I’d rather finish my studies then think about starting a family. I don’t even know if I love her or not. What would you suggest my options are?

Not Ready to Be a Daddy

Dear NRBD,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re in this situation. I would encourage anyone who is having sex to use a condom, as that is the only way to stop the spread of sexually transmitted infections. If you are in a monogamous relationship then you could consider some of the other contraceptives available. Now that your girlfriend is pregnant it would be a good idea for her to talk to a counsellor. The university has a free counselling service that keeps your issues confidential. You can talk to a doctor who is also bound to keep your situation confidential. Beware of counselors and doctors who give advice based on their personal beliefs rather than your welfare.

If you do decide to keep the baby then both you and her will need to negotiate your situation. You need to work out what you’re willing to commit to, and what else you will need. If you decide to terminate the pregnancy then you can talk about your choices with the doctor. Be aware also that this kind of stress will often impact upon a student’s ability to study effectively. If you find that you are too stressed to focus on your study talk to a caseworker at the SRC to get special consideration with your subjects.

Abe

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